need another drink. this is the easiest way
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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