like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize