Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
