Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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