She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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