Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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