Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
