He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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