how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize