did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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