My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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