So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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