Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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