I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
