I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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