girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
