Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
