she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
not ubering you a puppy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
