i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
