just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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