coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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