You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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