Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
