It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
