Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
