two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize