i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
