Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
