Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My cat gives me a boner
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
