My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
