What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
