I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
