Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
