Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
