Tell her she can't have a vagina
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
