What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
