that's an acceptable place to lick
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
