Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
