I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
