She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
