I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
