He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
