You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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