1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize