I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
