So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
