lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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