I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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