we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
