rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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