how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
