I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
