Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
