i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
