Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
