it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
