Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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