ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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