Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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