So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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