I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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