I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
