were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
