The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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