he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
