the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
