she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
