i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
