I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
