You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
