I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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