He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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