Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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