What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
