The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
