was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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