he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize