A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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