Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
