i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
