I'm going to jail i love you
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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