I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
