We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
