Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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